This past Thursday we went in for Nayeli's 2 year well check. Nayeli is doing great. She is 85th percentile in height- taller than the average girl, and aparently in better developement than Christian.
When the doctor came in he asked me how Christian was doing and I said he's good. The doctor asked Christian if he could get a high five and Christian shrunk away. The doctor didn't like that and asked if he has been in preschool or anything similar. I said no, that we wanted to potty train him beforehand. The doctor said no, it needs to be the other way around. He needs to get assessed for his developement- social, speech/language- getting him in may also help with potty training, since going#2 has been a problem for Christian.
On the outside I've been totally supporting this idea. Inside- I'll just say it- I'm freaking out! I'm scared of Christian growing up. I'm scared to call those people and find out that Christian does need that help. Christian is smart, I've said that many times, but for him to NEED to be in school to be taught even to poop in the toilet- makes me feel I've failed him. And I'll be honest, I have. I'm not the kind of teacher little ones can be taught by, I know that, I can give advice to older kids no problem.
I'm flat out scared. Which is why I hadn't called months ago when I should have. I still haven't...
Anyway, it's an update of this past week.
4 comments:
Seriously, Christian shies away from a pseudo-stranger asking for a high-five and that's cause for serious alarm? I don't think so. Some kids just don't respond well in social situations. Sweetie, it's okay. We all feel that we've failed our kids in some way (and in some ways, we probably have). What's important is that we do the best we can with the knowledge we have at any given time. Stop beating yourself up over the past because you can't change it. Just try to do better as you move forward.
Thank you Alana- I will try.
He still has 2 yrs before he starts kindergarten, right? I wouldn't worry about it too much. I don't think that for most children (heck, most people) a doctor's office is a good setting to assess social development. Kids are shy!
As for potty training- it's hard for little ones (especially going #2), and going poop in the toilet doesn't mean you're a genius! I would even go so far as to say that it has no bearing whatsoever on your IQ. In my opinion.
Mikayla starts preschool in a week...I understand wanting to hold on to your little baby! There is so much to be taught and so much that we are responsible for, but in the end we have to trust our instincts, pray (mostly for patience!!haha) and most of all always show them and tell them that we "love them for always, forever and no matter what".
Jessie, I know that it can be scary when a pediatrician tells you to get your child assessed. As you know, I used to work in a preschool and was part of the developmental screening team. MANY parents came in because their pediatrician referred them to a screening and less than half of the children were referred on to the evaluation phase. Ruth is right, a scary doctor's office isn't the best place for an assessment. A preschool room with toys, balls and fun things to do is much more appropriate. I think doctor's recommend screenings often to be on the safe side because it is so important to catch these things early if you can, so children can be all set for kindergarten. Thankfully it's just a screening.
About potty training. He is doing so well! Every kid will learn it when he is ready, no matter what his age. It takes boys so much longer to figure all of that out than girls. It's a hard thing to do and you guys are doing great! I hope the doctor meant that the fact that Christian isn't 100% potty trained should not be a reason to not look into preschool, not that he needs preschool to be potty trained. That would be a bunch of bull...you guys have that covered.
I know I don't have kids yet, and you might be saying...whatever, Kelli...but I honestly have a lot of experience with preschool students. I can't say enough about how great it is. It makes me sad to think that you feel like if Christian ends up qualifying for preschool that you have failed him. That is absolutely untrue and you are being way too hard on yourself. Christian is SUPER smart. I seriously doubt that he would qualify for services cognitively (for academic skills)...and if he ends up qualifying for it socially or in speech and language...hey, free preschool...AND if he doesn't qualify, you can tell that doctor where to go and feel happy that Christian is where he needs to be. (How's that for the biggest run-on sentence in the history of run-on sentences?)
Love you, Jess. If you want to talk to me about this, call me. If you want to tell my "know it all" self to butt-out...that's ok too.
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